IN CASE YOUR YEAR HAS FELT A LITTLE "UPSIDE DOWN" (GET IT??) (SORRY)

Hey there.

First of all, I’d like to acknowledge how insane it is to send you a picture of my face flanked by a scary flesh monster to hang up on your fridge (only after I BEGGED to get your address). 

To be clear, these things standing behind me are from the show Stranger Things, although they also kinda look like me when I go to the beach and forget to put on sunblock.

In the show, a bunch of dorks defeat this creepy flesh monster using fire, the magical ability of their friend Eleven, who spends most of the show either saying nothing, or yelling and pointing while her nose bleeds. And also, the power of friendship (who would’ve guessed!).

SPOILER ALERT: It’s about to get a little dark and a whole lot cheesy. Like a Digiorno that’s been left in the oven a little too long.

It’s been a good, although tough, year. 

As I’m sure anyone can relate, each year has its ups and downs. I’ve had a lot of really cool things happen this year. I’ve been able to travel a ton, both for comedy and for funsies, headline my home comedy club for the first time, work with some of my comedy heroes, and spend time with family in some beautiful places.

I’ve also had some no-so-fun things happen this year. All that travel meant a lot of time alone in the car. A lot of missed parties and hangouts with good friends. My best friend moved another continent. And as I write this, just a few days ago, my father passed.

He was an incredible guy. It’d be hard to find anyone who was more faithful, hardworking, compassionate, and goofy than him. He’s who I want to be when I grow up. (For those of you thinking “aren’t you 31 though?”, SHUT UP).

As I stood in his receiving line at the visitation, there was a non-stop flow of people for the whole three hours, plus even more both before and after hours. Person after person came up to me and told me how he was the kindest person they had ever met. Only a few of them said that while doing a side eye at their spouse, like they were trying to subconsciously will them to up their game.

It’s not like the amount of people who come out to your funeral is directly correlated to a life well lived. Like you should go around sending out invites to your funeral and try to set a high score.  But man. It was hard not to see that and not think of the outcome of what it means to have a life that’s well-lived.

My dad built a life on community. 

He was skilled in HV/AC repair and all kinds of handyman things that absolutely did not get passed down to me. My hands are so smooth. If you shook my hand you definitely wouldn’t be like “man, I bet this guy knows his way around an air conditioner.” You’d probably be like, “Wow, I bet this guy is creative. Is that shea butter?”

He was constantly using his skills to serve others. After he retired in 2012, he spent so much of his time doing service work for anyone and everyone who called. He charged way less than he was worth, and word got out. He was probably busier in retirement than he was when he was fully employed.

But he didn’t just go and do the work. He would sit with the person, hear about their lives, check in. He wasn’t just fixing air conditioners. He was helping to repair people.

That isn’t to say anything of his countless hours spent volunteering his time at church, or the multiple bands he was in over the course of his life. My dad had a buddy named Jimmy. Jimmy loved bluegrass, and dad would join him to travel to different bluegrass concerts around Columbus. Then Jimmy had knee surgery, and couldn’t move around too much for a few weeks. So my dad gathered a few of his pals to go play a concert in Jimmy’s living room. That’s community.

There’s a lot of dark, scary skin monsters out there. It feels like our country is on fire. Prices keep going up. New York Times put the Mini behind a paywall. Dark, dark times. While all of those things suck, I really do feel like one of the darkest things in our times is loneliness. There’s been a million articles and studies about it (I’m guessing, based on the amount of Tik Toks I’ve seen), but our phones give us the illusion of connection while we miss the real thing. 

Yet, I can’t help but think that the only way we can combat those things is the same things that the kids in Stranger Things used. Maybe not a flamethrower, but a nice fire in someone’s backyard. I do have a magical friend who bled (his name is Jesus, but that’s another story for another time). 

It’s friendship. It’s community.
 

So this year, I’m praying for the gift of community for you. Sometimes it happens by accident, but more often it’s a long, intentional commitment. Like being in a band for 40+ years, or meeting up weekly to play Dungeons and Dragons with your other nerdy friends.

As you commit to community, I think you’ll find it’s a lot easier to slay the scary skin monsters in your life.

If you read this far, thank you so much. Much love to you and yours.

Merry Christmas.